xxx

I want to see you before I go, but I can't. 
I can't because I know I shouldn't. 
I shouldn't because I know I need to. 
I want you and I need you. 
That in and of itself scares me senseless. 
So it's time to walk away. 
I will always love you, but not enough to stay.

xxxxxxx

I had the strangest dream last night. It started out with hiking a long distance up a mountain. The mountain was covered with rocks, dirt and dried up vegetation. When I got to the top there was a voice telling me to look all around and I did. Everywhere I looked, everything was dead. Then the voice said 'this is what it looked before you all ( Read more... )

I took most of last year off of work so that I could focus on school alone. It was really hard at first but then my grades started improving and I actually got enough sleep. Now the time has come to possibly go back to work and I really don't want to. I want to finish school so badly and it feels like I am almost there. If I go back to work it will ( Read more... )

Its amazing how much your life can change in just a year. All of my brothers are married. Joe has a beautiful baby boy named Maxwell and Roy's baby girl is due sometime in February. I am well on my way to finishing school. I will actually be moving to the dorms so the commute wont be so bad. I also have someone in my life who I completely adore and ( Read more... )

I'm loosing it. We have come to this crossroads before but this time we have crossed the line. I am so hesitant about what comes next. I am truly terrified of what I feel for him, I never knew so many emotions could be mixed together. It's intoxicating. Before I would just start dating someone else and stand firm at my friendship line, but I just ( Read more... )

"Then how come it seemed like you didn't want to kiss me the other night?"~Dan

Damn here I go messing things up before they even start. I am so careful with not getting hurt that he is getting the wrong message. Okay I need to stop holding back and go after what I want. If I end up hurt then so what, I think he is worth it.

My heart is in trouble. If only he would of not rested his head on my lap. If only he would not have caressed my hands. If only he hadn't wrapped his arms around me. If only he hadn't pulled me close and given me the softest, sweetest most sensual kiss I have ever had ( Read more... )

I fell in love with a boy named Axel. He's 3 and an absolute terror! In a good way of course. He has a lot of energy and is not afraid to jump off of anything. He has two older sisters and they dont have a father, only a mother who doesn't really want them. All three of them live with their grandparents in Mexicali. They are great kids and just ( Read more... )

I hate how humid the past few days have been. I think I'm going to go stay the weekend with my brother David. He just got his house in San Jacinto and its all dry heat there. I love his house, its big and spacious and new. I always found track homes a bit boring and generic but they are still nice ( Read more... )